Roleplay

Roleplay is something we all know very well. A term and subsequently a classification.
Can someone live this way in real life for so long they forget who they are?
Living as another person to hide in the dark so things get easier.
Not the way one would think to live. But, if this term could be a safeguard towards evil,
could make a shield so strong that even the user would be effected. Swallowed by it.
Years could go by in this shield. Could even be strong enough to imprison feelings.
Over time this could block even one's future. Stopping new experiences that could be
beneficial to the user's even growth into a wonderful being.

What if one day an opportunity presented itself to finally break free. What if this being finally found a reason to let it's guard down. Would it get shot down again? To the point of putting the shield back up? So many years have gone by with this shield up. The shield itself being so invisible that the user can't even remember it was up. So could it do it? Should it risk braking through? Even if it was so second nature it has become for many years.

It's funny though...I always used the shield as a coping mechanism. As my shield became what everyone herd and seen. I was in my mind the whole time. Saying what I really wanted to say and seeing how it would turn out in my head as the shield acted for me.

Of course it's conflicting. But, being who everyone has already met was easy. I didn't want to be hated by anybody. Well Hiding in the easy shield, my way out, isn't working anymore. as the shield cracks conflict will be taking place. But, in my own mind.....................Wish me luck.